A talk with self: Trust yourself
Trust, that 5 letter word we all seem to struggle with. It may be a lack of trust in your friends, family, co-workers, or lover. It can also be a lack of trust in ourselves and the decisions we make that effects our lives.
Trust is something that I can honestly say I struggle with especially when it comes to trusting myself. Even as I write this, I find myself second guessing every sentence and ask, “Is there a point in doing all of this?” I know it’s easy to just tell someone to trust themselves and the decisions they make; easy to say your intuitions know best. But how do we actually translate that into our lives? Why is finding trust within us so difficult to do? Is it due to lack of self-confidence? Fear of failure? Or simply being uncertain of the decisions we’ve made for ourselves?
In a previous post a few months ago, I stated that I wanted to open up my own design studio in the future. However, within the course of saying that, I’ve changed my mind more times than I can count. I had this clear image of where I wanted my life to go and now it’s all become a blur; it feels like a grueling nightmare of insecurity and self-doubt. But in the midst of it all, I refuse to give into those negative thoughts. I still show up for myself everyday even though I feel lost.
I like to use myself as an example in these situations because I understand how it feels to struggle, to doubt every step you take. I know how it feels to overthink things to the point of driving yourself crazy; to cry yourself to sleep because you’re so frustrated with your own indecisiveness. How can one be so sure one minute and then spiral into a sea of doubt and uncertainty the next? Why do we have the tendency to go against our gut and our intuitions? I don’t know and I wish I had the answer to the question, but what I do know is that stopping or quitting is not the solution.
When you find yourself struggling to build the bridge between your inner desires and discovering the strength/confidence needed to keep going, ask yourself this “what will I gain if I quit? Will this be another thing I told myself I can do only to give up midway?” And if you do fail, why is this viewed as a negative? Isn’t life supposed to be filled with highs and lows? Isn’t failure part of life’s lessons? Maybe just doing and trusting that you’ve made the right choices is all you need to do.
Imagine all the time wasted on striving for things that added no value into our lives. Think about that new product that you stood in line for hours or days to get, that relationship you fought tooth and nail to keep alive only to be disappointed in the end, or the countless hours spent scrolling through your social media accounts envying the success of your friends or strangers. Now imagine redirecting that same time into things that did add value in your life, even if you didn’t know where it will take you. Nothing that I do comes easy or naturally to me. From lettering to writing, cooking or getting in shape, all these things took time, patience, and practice and I still have so much to learn.
In preparation for this post, I read a few articles on the characteristics of successful people. The most common traits that they share are: they are focused driven, patient, optimistic, self-confident, work well with others, and have a strong sense of self. Most importantly, they make decisions that align with their goals. Some of these characteristics are qualities that we all possess in some form; however the everyday person falls victim to fear and doubts or listens to the naysayers who hinder them from putting their best foot forward.
Success in any form (not only monetary) is what we all want in life. But success does not and will not happen overnight. Achieving your goals truly may take many years and many failed attempts to get there. Regardless of what form of success you seek, just remember that you will never get there if you don’t trust that you are capable of getting there. Try not to get overwhelmed with the circumstances of your everyday life. In times of adversity, giving up is a guaranteed way of ensuring you will never actualize your goals. Don’t let your inner demons take over. Believe that you can do what you say you will. Trust starts with you.