Trust Yourself
May 21, 2017
A talk
with self: Trust yourself
Trust, that 5
letter word we all seem to struggle with. It may be a lack of trust in your
friends, family, co-workers, or lover. It can also be a lack of trust in ourselves
and the decisions we make that effects our lives.
Trust is
something that I can honestly say I struggle with especially when it comes to
trusting myself. Even as I write this, I find myself second guessing every
sentence and ask, “Is there a point in doing all of this?” I know it’s easy to
just tell someone to trust themselves and the decisions they make; easy to say
your intuitions know best. But how do we actually translate that into our lives?
Why is finding trust within us so difficult to do? Is it due to lack of
self-confidence? Fear of failure? Or simply being uncertain of the decisions
we’ve made for ourselves?
In a previous post a few months ago, I stated that I wanted to open up my own design
studio in the future. However, within the course of saying that, I’ve changed
my mind more times than I can count. I had this clear image of where I wanted
my life to go and now it’s all become a blur; it feels like a grueling nightmare
of insecurity and self-doubt. But in the midst of it all, I refuse to give into
those negative thoughts. I still show up for myself everyday even though I feel
lost.
I like to use
myself as an example in these situations because I understand how it feels to
struggle, to doubt every step you take. I know how it feels to overthink things
to the point of driving yourself crazy; to cry yourself to sleep because you’re
so frustrated with your own indecisiveness. How can one be so sure one minute
and then spiral into a sea of doubt and uncertainty the next? Why do we have the tendency to go against our
gut and our intuitions? I don’t know and I wish I had the answer to the
question, but what I do know is that stopping or quitting is not the solution.
When you find
yourself struggling to build the bridge between your inner desires and
discovering the strength/confidence needed to keep going, ask yourself this
“what will I gain if I quit? Will this be another thing I told myself I can do
only to give up midway?” And if you do fail, why is this viewed as a negative?
Isn’t life supposed to be filled with highs and lows? Isn’t failure part of
life’s lessons? Maybe just doing and trusting that you’ve made the right choices
is all you need to do.
Imagine all
the time wasted on striving for things that added no value into our lives. Think
about that new product that you stood in line for hours or days to get, that
relationship you fought tooth and nail to keep alive only to be disappointed in
the end, or the countless hours spent scrolling through your social media
accounts envying the success of your friends or strangers. Now imagine
redirecting that same time into things that did add value in your life, even if
you didn’t know where it will take you. Nothing that I do comes easy or
naturally to me. From lettering to writing, cooking or getting in shape, all
these things took time, patience, and practice and I still have so much to
learn.
In
preparation for this post, I read a few articles on the characteristics of successful people. The most common
traits that they share are: they are focused driven, patient, optimistic, self-confident,
work well with others, and have a strong sense of self. Most importantly, they
make decisions that align with their goals. Some of these characteristics are
qualities that we all possess in some form; however the
everyday person falls victim to fear and doubts or listens to the naysayers who
hinder them from putting their best foot forward.
Success in any
form (not only monetary) is what we all want in life. But success does not and
will not happen overnight. Achieving your goals truly may take many years and
many failed attempts to get there. Regardless of what form of success you seek,
just remember that you will never get there if you don’t trust that you are
capable of getting there. Try not to get overwhelmed with the circumstances of
your everyday life. In times of adversity, giving up is a guaranteed way of ensuring
you will never actualize your goals. Don’t let your inner demons take over.
Believe that you can do what you say you will. Trust starts with you.
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